You’re Not Stuck. You’re Living Through the Messy Middle

During the fall of 2023, I found myself at the edge of something I didn’t fully understand—fighting against the reality of post-menopause. Yes, my body had changed. Drastically. I couldn’t do things I used to. Basic things. There was brain fog. Depression. Anxiety. Muscle and joint pain that reminded me daily of my new condition. On and on it went. I was pissed and ashamed. I felt stuck and powerless.

And yet, perhaps the hardest part wasn’t the symptoms—it was the resistance. I fought it every step of the way. I was angry. I was in denial. I kept waiting to “go back to normal,” clinging to an old version of myself like a lifeboat. But no matter how tightly I held on, it slipped through my fingers.

I was stuck in a loop. A painful, quiet loop where I struggled to thrive. I existed. Sort of. The voice in my head was full of judgment. I felt like a victim of my own biology. I felt like my body was betraying me and could no longer be trusted. And yet—underneath it all, in the still moments—I also knew something deeper. I knew that this unraveling, as painful as it was, wasn’t a punishment. It was an initiation. Somewhere deep inside, I trusted that this was the path to something new. Something more true.

And that journey began with one difficult but transformative lesson: radical acceptance.

I had to stop fighting reality. I had to make peace with the body I had, not the one I once had or thought I “should” have. I had to look in the mirror and offer grace rather than criticism. I had to meet myself where I was—in the fog, in the heaviness, in the grief—and stop waiting for a future version of me, or a past version of me, to feel better before I started living again.

So I went back to the basics.

I nourished my mind, body, and soul in tiny micro-moments. I walked. I journaled. I meditated. I cried. I reached out for support. I asked for guidance from the Divine. I worked on my chakras. I leaned into joy—even when it felt far away. I practiced choosing magic, wonder, and small doses of creativity in the middle of the unknown. I stopped waiting for “someday” and began living in the messy middle. Read that again.

I tell you this story, again, not to rehash the angst, but to emphasize the power of the messy middle. It’s in this in-between stage where the transformation happens. It requires reimagining and reframing the story of “stuckness”. It requires surrender, faith, and a deeper knowing that what feels like being stuck is really a recalibration of our pain and suffering into something better. Have faith that below the noise, below the uncertainty, is where healing occurs. Stop running from the mess. Soften. Breathe. Meet it head on and trust the process. You’ve got this.

Here are some of the things that help me recalibrate and move out of “stuck” energy a wee bit quicker:

The Messy Middle is Sacred: It might look messy and feel like we’re experiencing a setback but actually we are integrating information. We are in a season of recalibrating and recovery. It is deep, healing work. It is sacred work. We must remember to trust the wisdom of this process and know that it won’t last forever.
Take Tiny Steps Forward: Forward motion doesn’t require energy. It requires intention. I had 3 non-negotiables that I set for myself every day. Eat nourishing foods. Meditate daily. Move my body. Those tiny movements forward created momentum.
Celebrate the Wins: This also helps with forward momentum. Celebrating our wins reminds us of our success each and every day. We need to track them daily - on our phones, in journals, wherever. Look at them often. It shows us where we are moving forward and trains our brain to track more wins, to expect more wins. This is the loop we really want!
Envisioning Your New Life: This is another one of those brain training things I’ve talked about before. Spend a few minutes every day envisioning the life you want. FEEL it fully. Get into the emotions of it all. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality and over time we find ourselves making new choices that are more aligned with our vision. The idea here is to open up possibilities. Don’t worry about how. Just feel your best life in all its gorgeous details.
Allow the Goodness In: Even when life gets messy and uncertain, it is still allowed to be good right now. We don’t need permission, or money, or health, or a partner to experience a juicy life. We can create all of the things - joy, connection, and meaning - right now. Even in the uncertainty. Even in the messy middle.

We are all dealing with our own versions of feeling stuck. From menopause and body issues, to loss of our loved ones, to depression and anxiety, isolation, money issues etc. There is always something. No one escapes the messy middle. We signed up for this human adventure and pain and suffering are part of it. But feeling stuck is a story that needs reimagining and reframing. If we can sit in the silence of it all we remember the sacredness of the mess, the opportunities for growth and expansion, and the wisdom on the other side of that messy middle.

This personal reckoning with my body and healing myself in mind, body, and spirit, helped give shape and context to The Radical Joy Project. It wasn’t some grand idea I mapped out with a business plan. It was the natural outgrowth of my healing. It’s the connective tissue that held me together when everything else was falling apart.

The four pillars—self-care, spirituality, creativity, and community—aren’t just concepts. They’ve been my anchors. My tools for healing. My way back home to myself. Again and again.

My hope is that The Radical Joy Project becomes a life raft—a sacred space for you to reclaim your light, one small act of joy at a time. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to begin. Right here, right now. In the messy middle. In your truth. In your beauty. In your rising.

May’s Soul Work

We’ve Been on This Journey Together — Now I’d Love to Hear from You

Over the past two years, The Radical Joy Project has quietly evolved into an amazing space for connection, healing, and becoming. What started as an experiment has evolved into so much more than I could’ve imagined. And I’m so grateful to be walking this path alongside you.

As I look ahead and imagine what’s next, I’m realizing just how much your voice matters in this process. I’d love to hear what’s been working for you. What parts of this experience have helped you feel more grounded, more lit up, more connected to your own truth? And also… what’s been hard? What’s felt out of reach, or maybe just hasn’t landed? Where have you felt resistance or stuckness?

I know some of this work asks us to go deeper — to journal, to reflect, to get honest about what we want. And that’s not always easy. We all resist sometimes. Life is full and messy, and digging in can feel like one more thing. Believe me I get it! But this is your space. And I want to shape it in a way that really serves you — not just in theory, but in real, everyday life.

So whether you’ve been diving in or just quietly soaking it up from the edges, I’d love to know what this space has meant to you, and how it can grow into something even more powerful. I’m listening.

To get the juices flowing here’s what I’d like to see more of:

Energy work: Anything that helps us stay high vibe and elevated is good. Guided meditations, sound baths, small rituals practiced consistently to make our everyday lives more sacred, Exploring all of the ways to bring more of that into the group.
Working WITH our resistance instead of against it. Using our discomfort as a portal to change. Journaling more about our resistance to things we say we want but don’t do. Maybe introducing fun little challenges that help us with this. Sharing more of that in the group.
Other forms of creativity, not just art.
More joy rides.
Saying yes even when it’s typically a no. Pushing up against our discomfort can actually help us if we’re feeling stuck.
More regular celebrations that remind us of our growth, our wins, our courage and bravery! This would mean tracking all of the things we’re celebrating. Just saying!
More fun challenges that help us do the things we say we want to do - kindness challenges, creative challenges, joy, movement, meditation, etc. I’m talking conscious, intentional but cool ways to make this stuff part of our DNA!

Now it’s your turn. Please take some time to really explore the questions above and put pen to paper over the next few weeks. You can bring them to the next gathering or if you prefer you can pop them in an email. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for walking along this path with me. I am truly honored.

May’s Art Project

We’ll be working inside our mixed media “journals” and practicing techniques. I’ll be using my handy deck of art prompts to guide us along. This is not about a finished product per se, but rather practicing various techniques. I want this to be a low key, no pressure project. If there’s time left over we can also make more collage papers on the deli papers. This is another freeing exercise that we can incorporate into other projects down the line. I can’t wait to relax and let go of any ideas of perfectionism. Leave that shit at home please!!