self-compassion: A Path to Healing and Thriving

There are few things that have aided in my healing journey than self-compassion. Full stop. I would not have been able to move through the past few years without cultivating self-compassion. Slowly but surely, it has allowed my pain to surface, my broken bits to be acknowledged, and my grief to be tended to. It has helped calm my nervous system and fostered a greater sense of peace and resilience.

How does this connect with thriving during the holiday season? Because the holidays bring up shit - family, money, time, boundaries, expectations, perfectionism, and more - and if we are not paying attention we can default back into our old stories of “not enough”. We’re not doing enough, not socialising enough, not buying enough, not decorating enough, and on and on it goes. The next thing we know it’s January 2025 and we feel bone weary tired, heavy from carrying around all of that garbage, and our nervous system is fried. Personally, I’m choosing to arrive in the new year with an open heart full of gratitude, peace, and dare I dream big, the first female president of the United States!! Hell yes!

So let’s look at some ideas around self-compassion and its connection to nervous system healing, stress relief, and thriving during the holidays:

Self Compassion and the Nervous System

At the heart of self-compassion is the act of treating ourselves with kindness, understanding, and acceptance. When we practice self-compassion, we create a sense of safety within our bodies, signaling to the nervous system that it's okay to relax and restore. The nervous system, which governs our stress response, is often overstimulated during the holiday season. Expectations, social commitments, and personal pressures can lead to chronic activation of the "fight, flight, or freeze” response, which keeps us in a state of high alert. Not good at anytime, but especially during the holidays.

However, self-compassion can counteract this. By offering ourselves moments of grace, we engage the parasympathetic nervous system, often referred to as the “rest and digest” system. This allows our bodies to calm down, promotes healing, and helps restore balance. Self-compassionate practices such as deep breathing, gentle affirmations, and mindful pauses signal to the brain that it’s safe to step back and breathe. (For more examples go here. No really. Go there!)

Self Compassion and Stress Relief

We know that during the holiday season, stress can build up from trying to meet everyone else’s needs while neglecting our own. Self-compassion reminds us that it’s essential to prioritize our well-being and take breaks when needed.

When we pause to acknowledge our stress and respond with self-compassion, we interrupt the cycle of self-criticism and judgment that often heightens stress. Read that again. Instead of pushing through feelings of exhaustion, self-compassion allows us to listen to our bodies and respond with nurturing actions, whether that’s a quiet walk, time for meditation, or simply saying “no” to one more holiday commitment.

Thriving in the Holiday Season

By integrating self-compassion into our daily lives during the holidays, we shift from merely surviving to truly thriving. We no longer view self-care as a luxury but as a necessity that helps us show up fully for ourselves and those we love. Instead of being overwhelmed by the endless to-do lists, we find space to experience the joy, connection, and meaning that this season can offer. This is an ongoing practice which enables us to handle the highs and lows of the holiday season with more grace and calm.

Self-Compassion Practices for the Holiday Season

Daily Mindful Check-ins: Take a few minutes each day, or throughout the day, to check in with how you’re feeling emotionally and physically. Recognize any stress or overwhelm you might be feeling. Pay attention, pay attention and adjust accordingly.

Compassionate Breathing: When stress arises, practice deep breathing. Focus in on your heart. Breath in love and gratitude. Exhale stress and overwhelm. Do this for 5 minutes. It really works!

Set Boundaries with Kindness: Give yourself permission to say no to events or obligations that drain your energy. Remember that honoring your limits is an act of self-compassion.

Don’t Forget Self Care: We are quick to ditch our self care practices when life gets busy. Don’t. Resist the urge to put yourself at the bottom of the list. Write in your journal. Walk in the sunshine. Drink a cup of tea by candlelight. Small but mighty acts of self care help our nervous systems relax.

Final Thoughts

My journey over the last couple of years has taught me so many things, especially the importance of self compassion. Struggling with menopause, mid-life changes, and body issues has been painful and challenging. I felt betrayed by my body. Angry that it couldn’t or wouldn’t move like it used to. There were tears and loathing and grief. So much grief. But along the way I gradually moved into acceptance. I surrendered. What I’ve come to realize is that in surrendering I was making space for kindness, acceptance, and self compassion.

Here’s what I know…my body, my cells, are listening to every word I say, and when I speak and act kindly, the inner storm begins to calm. My nervous system becomes more regulated. A sense of safety ensues. That’s a game changer. That’s when energy moves. Blocks are eliminated. Vibrations are elevated. Miracles happen.

Whether it’s setting boundaries during the holidays, paying attention to our stress levels, or prioritizing self care, self compassion is essential to our well being. It isn’t cliche nor selfish. It is the antidote to shame. Being kind and loving to ourselves changes everything and is the most healing work we can do. I know this to be true because I’m practicing as we speak. May we thrive during this holiday season and usher in the new year with a sense of hope and possibility.

NOVEMBER ART PROJECT

Altered Tin Boxes

Obviously there are numerous options with these tins. You could remove the lids and have an open box. You could decorate the outside and inside but keep in mind that this would be more time consuming and you might only go home with one finished item. Or you could decorate the outside and go minimum inside and treat the piece like a gift box. I’m going to do a couple of these to use for giving cash or gift certificates. I love the Alice in Wonderland piece too! This would make a great gift that could stand on a shelf or bedside table etc. Sooooo many options.

I have 24 tins in total. I will spray paint some beforehand in creamy white and gold. IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO SPRAY PAINT A SPECIFIC COLOR FOR YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP! I have mountains of materials to use in the decorations, maybe even some Mad Hatter! I will do as much prep work as possible so that we’ll have plenty of time to construct.

Please email me if you have any questions.

Looking forward to seeing you all and PRAYING for a massive blue win on November 5!!!